Kurt Cobain's face watched her sleep at night. No matter where you stood in her bedroom, he watched you. He never judged or asked of you. He simply watched. It was creepy as fuck. She didn't mind. She loved Kurt.
She claimed twenty-seven to be her rockstar age. Joplin, Hendrix, Jones, Morrison and her dearest Kurt, all preserved their mythological greatness by disappearing in their prime. At twenty-seven.
Today would have been her thirtieth birthday. No longer in the safety of youth's flailing reach. Time to stop straddling the fence and commit to adulthood.
The gray hair priming.
The crow's feet sinking.
The skin loosening.
The body turning.
The mind searching for security.
The mind searching for the accomplishments that have been fulfilled so that thirty is welcomed with pride instead of dread.
The mind asking if you are ready to jump.
The clock not caring.
Brandon's birthday is two days after Lydia's. He has a mortgage. Is married with two children. Has a good job and a dog and three vehicles. He can not move on. He is stuck. All of the possessions of adulthood can not make it happen within you.
But Lydia? She never has to know this. She will forever be bubbling with light and energy. Her eyes will always glow. Her body will never turn against her. She will never wonder if she is still beautiful. And no one will ever know her as a year older than twenty-seven.
She is preserved.
Today I will not mourn her death.
Today I will celebrate her life.
7 comments:
I don't know who she is or was but she was beautiful and I am sorry I never got t meet her. She looks like she was a beautiful fun person and I found my self crying over your words, and the loss of such a beautiful life at too young...
gah, i'm a blubbering mess. so sorry for your loss, but this is a pretty awesome perspective. much love, mama.
That's beautiful.
not sure who she is, but you love her. that much i know. kisses to you.
i hope to be loved this much.
Beautiful tribute...and beautiful perspective.
Another star reflecting from a universe of reflections and you were fortunate enough to see the light from the source...
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