One year ago today.
Shit, I was big.
I mean, crushing-skyscrapers-and-raining-tears-BIG.
Check out that hat if you don't believe me. It totally fit my head before . . . before . . . the parasitic-monozygotic-embryonic-placental-cyborg-transformation.
The anniversary of a double vaginal expulsion has gotten me weepy. Just look at them now! All pointing their fingers and telling me "NONONONONONO!" while throwing their heads from side to side.
They were just blobs. Parasitic blobs of skin and breath and blood and organs and bones. Blobs of wrinkled honey.
Now they are independent. Now they have a repertoire of comedic performances. Now they hide in the corner and eat paper because they know I will take it away and NOOOONOTTHEPAPERMOMMYINEEDTHEPAPERINMYMOUTH!! Now they kiss me. And say "mmmmmmmmm". And sometimes catch my lips between their open teeth and threaten to go all Dr. Lecter on my face. And then I jerk back. And then I go in for another kiss.
One year ago.
I would go to the hospital on the weekends and beg them to keep me. To expel the parasites.
My OB said that Lydia's head was "a fingertip inside of me." I could have caressed her soft spot if I'd had the balls. Tempting.
I laid on the couch. Brandon and Layla slept with me. I was lonely. I was bored. I didn't have a clue HOW EASY I HAD IT. How hard it was about to be. How much I could love. How my marriage would change. How funny a baby is. How perfect a baby is. How helpless a baby is. How strong a mother has to be.
I didn't have a clue.
3 comments:
Oh Freckletree, what a post. Seriously. That should be submitted to Twins Magazine or a parenting periodical of some sort...or better yet, save it for a book of your own. :)
Glad to hear you got the book....you take your time reading it! ;)
Thanks so much for playing along with Way Back When-esday so artfully. BLessings to you and yours in 2010.
i like your style, mama. i was also huge, but alas, there are no pictures to prove it. *sigh* and yea, i thought that pregnancy was the hard part...pssh, not even close.
it's been almost 8 years since i expelled my twins. this reminds me of those carefree, albeit whale like, days.
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