Fifth grade. Dallas Raiders. I was the cheerleading captain. After I was chosen to lead this most prestigious of misfit squads, my cheerleading skirt was taken for a weekend to have the words "Joy Martin-Captain" monogrammed across the pleats.
I call this the most prestigious squad of misfits because I have a very vivid memory of a Mom on this squad. It was Tracy's mom. She always wore very high-waisted, very tight, stonewashed jeans and had long, dark hair. This may be a bit of an embellishment but there must have been curls. Frizzy, stiff curls. And this, dear friends, is what I remember most about Tracy's mom:
TM: Tracy ever tell you about her diddy?
Me: Uh-uh.
TM: You ever heard uh 'KISS'?
Me: Uh-Uh.
TM: You know who KISS is: "I wanna rock and roll all night . . ."??
Me: Uh-huh.
TM: You know Gene Simmons?
Me: Uh-uh.
TM: The one with tha reee-yul long tongue?
Me: Uh-huh.
TM: That's Tracy diddy. Met em backstage one night and then I got pregnant wit Tracy. We send em letters all tha time but she aint never met em.
Me: Wow, that's weird.
To this day I still think back and wonder what Tracy must've thought to know that her father was a rock legend. Or what could have REALLY been bad, is if Tracy's dad was really her Mom's husband, but her mom was just telling me that it was Gene Simmons because I was captain of the cheerleading squad and she thought that Tracy would get the front middle elevator stunt if I thought her dad was really that old guy that wears a bunch of weird make-up and sticks his tongue out a lot. That would suck. Because the very least she could have done is beef up on current pop stars and find that maybe Garth Brooks or Bret Michaels would have been a hotter choice. In terms of having a cool illegitimate dad so the captain of the cheerleading squad puts your stunt in the front middle.
Maybe then I would feel less sorry for her.
Unless, of course, it was Bret Michaels.
2 comments:
What an odd memory.
Congratulations on being famous, btw.
yes, yes, thank you, of course.
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